Sunday, November 29, 2015

Final Day of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

I struggled doing this daily. Often I would skip days I felt negative, not even wanting to mess with it. I would spend a few days catching up with several post and most of the time this pulled me out of my own head. I am determined to do these daily this second time around – I will record it in my journal. 

Day 29 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

It has helped me feel closer to my Center – but mostly it is helping me fight the demons in my own head. 

Day 28 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

I LOVE this! To find something to be grateful for in every situation, even the unpleasant ones would be attitude altering!

Today we decorated the inlaws porch for Winter. It was cold but I had a great time hanging out with my wife; joking, playing, flirting – so today I am grateful for unplanned quality time with my wife! 

Day 27 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

I want those in my immediate circle to know how much I appreciate them. I will work on letting them know how much what they do means to me! 

Day 26 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

When I focus on what I don’t have it leaves me feeling sad, depressed, hopeless and anxious. When I focus on what I do have – which is hard to do once I am in the negative cycle—I feel happy, excited and full of hope! Obviously I prefer to focus on the positive, it’s a hard habit to get into but I will keep trying!

Day 25 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

I want to be a positive, grateful person who is light hearted and able to appreciate each day. I want to say more positive than negative things, say thank you more than I criticize and show those in my life how much I do love them. 

Day 24 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

I am going to make a serious effort at this – I know those around me would really appreciate it. I think this would really brighten everyone’s day and in turn make myself feel lighter inside. 

day 23 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

To live in gratitude to me means a person who is positive, light hearted, who is able to see the good in each day, each moment. I strive to be this person. 

day 22 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

I have a lot of work to do! I try to catch myself before I let the negative thought continue, stop it, then I try to replace it with a positive thought. Yes, it is hard. My mind things a million negative thoughts for every handful of positive….ugh! 

day 21 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

This would be a wonderful gift to everyone around you. To just acknowledge people, smile and say or do something nice. I don’t get out of the house much, by choice, but when I do I will do my best to make this a new habit. 

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Day 20 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

I’ve been given so many gifts throughout my life.

  • I have a beautiful home that will be paid off in under 15yrs.
  • I have an amazing wife who is my best friend and supporter – our relationship alone is something to be marveled at.
  • We have our future financially secure as well as the in-laws.
  • I had the mental strength and support to make the right decisions growing up not make the same mistakes those around me had.
  • My wife and I had the support of our family for our relationship.
  • We have the ability to pursue the chance to have our child.
  • My Last MRI was Clear – the first time I’ve made it to the 3 yr mark!
  • I got the time to develop close relationships with those who have now past. 

Day 19 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

Although, currently my family has shrank dramatically I am thankful for those I still have in my life. We may disagree, we may not always understand each other and we may not be the Classic Typically Family but it’s all I have so I am thankful for the few.

Day 18 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

I think it is easy to get caught up in Negative Thinking. It is easy to think you will be more thankful when you are Happy – but it is the opposite. You first have to be thankful to be happy. That is a hard one right, to be thankful when you’re not feeling happy. It is hard to see anything to be thankful for when you are unhappy. But the truth is we all have a lot to be thankful for – from the simplest things to the big personal triumphs. 

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

day #17 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

I am in my head so much I often miss things around me. While taking my daily walks I started fighting to be in the moment. I make myself listen to the wind, the breeze in the trees, the birds and the wildlife. I make a point to notice the clouds, the colors of the sky, the playful wildlife and the trees. It is a continuing fight the entire time I am walking but I am hopeful one day it will be easier. 

Day #16 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

When family members started passing I realized it is important to tell those you love how much you appreciate them. I try to make it a habit to express this love and gratitude as much as I can.

My wife is the most important person to me. I appreciate her so very much. One letter would not come close to verbalizing this so I will continue to tell her and show her every day!

My Soul Mom Brenda was brought into my life when I was really young and has been a guiding force since.  I tell her often what she means to me and will continue to do so.

Although my in-laws cause me stress I understand how much they have done and continue to do for us. I am sure to thank the father in-law for all the help because it is something I wish he would do more of. 

Day #15 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

I think this is a balancing act with family. We do a lot for those we love which can lead to feeling used when these things aren’t acknowledged. Those in my immediate circle do make it a habit of saying Thank You and showing our appreciation to one another. But I am sure we all do little things that often go unnoticed.

I think this would be better for those who work outside the home. 

day #14 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

Good Memories

Our wedding day is one of my favorite memories. It was a beautiful October Sunday in Story Indiana and we were surrounded by our closest family and friends. It was the first time my mom, her husband, my father, his girlfriend and my soul mother came all together to support me. Everyone was on their best behavior and things went perfectly!

The day we bought our house is another. I was filled with so much excitement and pride! My soul mom, father and in-laws all came out to help with the moving, decorating and repair work.

My college graduation party was a wonderful day. We all gathered on a beautiful day at Brown County State Park. We chose the perfect shelter house and several people went early to decorate. We had a pitch in and enjoyed the day with a large group of family.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Day # 13 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

What is working in my life –

My marriage is working and working wonderfully! I am loved, supported and it’s because of her I want to be a better person.

My life at home is working. It was scary leaving my job to make that leap to just one income but it is working!

Our lifestyle is working – we haven’t gained all the weight back and it’s been two years since we started on this journey.

Our Life Together is working! 

What is working in the world –

We now have equal rights!

We now can be legally married!

I can now be covered on her Insurance! 

People around the world are finally waking up --

To realize animal cruelty is not the answer to quick/cheap food.
To seeing unrecognizable ingredients in all our products and asking question about these chemicals.
To understand the way society is set up is not working and it's time to do something about it.

Day #12 of the Gratitude Challenge

Trials –

The two big trials in my life are the circumstances I was born/raised into and my Desmoid Tumors. I use both of these trials to inspire others. I hope my message of Don’t Give Up, Keep Fighting comes through in my writing and when I talk to others. I know without either of these trials in my life I would not be the person I am growing to be.

I am not sure I would ever say I am thankful for my tumors. I am thankful mine were able to be surgically removed, that I still have my mobility and I did not have to deal with Chemo/Radiation. Because I had these rare tumors I reevaluated my health and lifestyle. It started me on the path of recreating myself inside and out, something I do not think I would have started doing in my early 20’s otherwise. Most importantly it made me Think --- think about what I was putting inside my body, what my choices were doing to this planet and inspired me to make better ones.

It would be easy to give up / give in and it is normal to have those thoughts but all of us have to keep fighting.  Fighting for our own happiness, fighting for a better life, fighting for health, fighting to just keep our heads above water. 

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Day 11 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

I will replace the words “God” and “Heavenly Father” with Goddess – because I know there's some guiding force in my life. I know there is a place I will be reunited with my loved ones but I do not feel comfortable assigning this force that identity.

I recognize a pull inside that leads me – to where I need to be, to who I need in my life and to the lessons I need to learn. When I stop to give thanks for all I have I can see this force has blessed me in so many ways.

It is important to pause and appreciate what you already have. It is easy to get caught up in the race to our next goal, to our next want. We seldom take time to enjoy all that we have fought for. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Day #10 of the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge

Benefit from gratitude –

  1. It would help me keep the dark clouds of depression, self-doubt and anxiety away.
  2. It would help me stay up beat, optimistic, positive and happy which would help boost my immune system.
  3. It would help me stay motivated and keep me on track to accomplishing my goals.
  4. It would help me relax so I can enjoy the wonderful love and attention my wife gives to me. 

Day #9 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

Saying Thank You—
  • Thank you for amazing facials
  • Thank you for the ability to walk
  • Thank you for yummy lunches homemade by my wife
  • Thank you for my comfy home
  • Thank you for the opportunity to stay home
  • Thank you for my wife –her love and support

Saying thank you’s have helped lift the dark clouds that have been gathering these past few days. It has helped me quiet the negativity in my mind. 

Day #8 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

At Least:
  • I don’t have to deal with chemo on my hip
  • I’m not as heavy as I was
  • I am able to walk
  • I don’t have to work
  • I don’t have to deal with work stress
  • I don’t have to deal with my sisters stresses/problems
  • I’m not being used, manipulated and lied to. 

This has helped put things in prospective for me. I took the things I am feeling frustrated about and turned them, which helped see them in a different light. It didn't change anything but it made me feel a little better about it. 

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Day #7 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

My daily chores are: Cleaning up the kitchen, Sweeping the floors and picking up after the wife.

It seems I am always cleaning the kitchen. I should be grateful to have a kitchen to clean, a wife and pets to pick up after. The wife makes mess when she is eating breakfast before she goes to work and when she makes my lunches for the week. I am grateful she has a job that allows me to stay at home, I am grateful for the yummy lunches I enjoy during the week to eat a home. I am grateful to have a home I love, a wife I am deeply in love with, my health and the time at home to be able to clean!

I am a lucky girl!

Friday, November 6, 2015

Day 6 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

I like all the things in my house -- from every piece of furniture to every play pretty but this is a list of the things I love!

Grandmothers' chair, pearls, owl necklace, shawl, old dishes, step stool
My wedding rings and all the jewelry my wife has bought me
The rocks and glass I have collected
My past pets ashes -- the tub of their things that is put away.

My life is rich not because of these things but for the love I have for these things. These things connect me to the ones I love, cherish and remind me of happy times.

I love all the jewelry my wife has bought me because she bought it for me and that's what makes it special. But my wedding rings are the things I cherish most. They remind me of the love my wife has for me even before I realized how deeply our love went. I can't bring myself to replace/upgrade them because of this.

I have things from both my grandmothers as well as from Duste's grandma. These things are treasures because we can physically touch them, reminding us of the ones we love and lost.

The love I have for my pets is without restraint. Having things that remind me of this important to me. It reminds me I can love truly, fully, deeply.

My rocks/glass I have no real logical reason to love but I do all the same.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Day #5 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

Think about things you take for granted everyday – not so long ago these things were thought impossible. Make a list of all the miracles you benefit from in a regular basis. How would it change your life if you look at and appreciated everything as the miracle that it is.

Electricity – not long ago there wasn’t electricity in homes. This miracle provides so many comforts and benefits to my life. It allows me to light and heat my home, enjoy TV, internet and radio, keep my food refrigerated, heat water so I can enjoy hot baths/showers and prepare my meals.

Electronics – TV is a miracle in itself and now we have HD and hundreds of channels. I enjoy the benefits of my tv every day. With my DVR, DVD and Netflix. It helps calm my mind, educated my mind and turn off my mind. Computer, Internet and Cell phones – these are new and how quickly we can’t imagine our lives without them. These tools help me connect with people, look up information and learn. This is a never ending resource of information.

Running water – helps me keep my family and house clean.

To see everything as a miracle would be freeing, exciting and give you a sense of wonder and happiness! To be Thankful for all these little miracles would bring attention to them making you appreciate and feel grateful for them! 

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Day #4 of the 30 day Grateful Challenge

Write a Thank You note to someone who has Rekindled The Spark inside of you –

--My wife has rekindled my spark so many times about so many things.

Dear Soul Mate, love of my life – my wife,

I want to thank you for all the times you have inspired me throughout our life together. You have rekindled that spark inside of me so many times. During these times you have expanded my mind and heart either directly, by showing me a new way to see the world or indirectly by allowing me the freedom to explore a new way of thinking. A simple statement or different point of view can lead to so many changes. We have had different experiences in life, different ways of looking at the world and it’s because of the differences I can grow and learn. I am so grateful to you for showing me, teaching me and supporting me in my journey.

Now and Forever –

                Your Wife 

Day #3 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears

--write what this could mean for you in your life

This quote says to me take time to appreciate the little things, focus more on what you have now – right now.
Imagine how this can change your thought pattern – focusing more on the good and less on the bad. 

We are programmed to talk about our problems and its considered bragging when we talk about the good. What if we switch these, how different would our lives be? 

It is difficult for me to find things to be grateful about because I thought it had to be big things but it doesn’t. It can be, should be, the small things – the wind/breeze, sun, leaves, walks, talks, homemade dinners, safe secure relationships, ability to grow, freedom to explore, hot tub on cool nights, heating pads, financial securities, ability to stay home and less stress.

A note that came out in my Soul Writing –
                Live in the moment, focus on the now more. Like when getting a massage—calm my mind                 and enjoy the moment, right here/right now.

Day #2 of the 30 day Gratitude Challenge

For 5 minutes write down everything you’re grateful for – do not let your mind wonder to anything negative.

My 5 minute list:

Pets—Ivy Rose and Diablo. The unconditional love they give me, the warm cuddles and the laughs they provide.

Home – our lovely wonderful comfortable loving home. The nest of security we have created. A roof over our heads that we truly love.

Family – having a supportive group of people around you is very important, no matter how small that group may be.
                Brenda brings positivity, guidance and a fresh perspective to my life.
                Inlaws bring a connection to the past, experiences and fun stories

Duste my wife my life – brings joy, supportiveness and reassurance, true undying love.

Health – we are both healthy and continue to strive to be healthier.

Good Food – we made a goal to eat healthier and we continue to meet these goals. Less dairy, less soy, less meat and more natural!

30 Day Gratitude Challenge

I have decided to take the Challenge -- the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge.

I want to be more positive and I want to be more grateful in my life. This is something I strive to do, to be, but never really put anything into practice. I read a lot about how changing your thoughts and your thought pattern can change your life but these two things are hard to change. Reprogramming your brain is difficult and takes daily practice. So here I go !

Day #1 Think of a time in your life when a trial became a blessing.

Failed Relationships – After a serious break up and not wanting to give up and go back to my first boyfriend I started dating who ever asked. It came to me that I was blocking my soul mate and I must have missed him because of my high standards. This resulted in a lot of bad dates with guys who didn’t deserve my time but I went in with an open heart ready to find my husband. When this didn’t work and I was alone again I felt hopeless, at a loss on what to do next.

Duste started suggesting we could be together and after several attempts I finally figured out what she was saying. That’s when my eyes opened – my answer was right in front of me. I WAS blocking my soulmate but not because my standards were too high but my vision of what that looked like was limited. My soul mate was a female, my happily ever after was her and she had been in front of me this entire time! All those heart broke nights, all that stressing, worrying and she was right there!

Looking back I can see something led me to her, something kept showing me this path and each time I would pass it to take another I was lead back. Until finally, I was ready to open my heart, my mind and slowly my eyes. My past relationships made me question love and in those relationships I deeply felt all the emptiness, all the unhappiness, all the unsettlement. However, without those failed relationships I wouldn’t appreciate her, I wouldn’t know what a gift she is. Without unhappiness can we truly know happiness? Without pain can we truly appreciate joy?

My path led me to her and without a doubt in my mind I know our love was meant to be. Our souls have loved one another for many lifetimes and will continue to do so. Each life time we find one another, drawn together by a pull from deep within, that’s our journey. My husband turned out to be my wife in this life time!