Tumor, Desmoid Tumor

The pain comes and goes, my mobility slows. I have forgotten what it is like to need help. With winter comes ice, pay more attention to my feet, be careful not to slip. A fall could lead to another growth. Mobility is something you take for granted until it is taking from you.  My third tumor is growing, reaching out to destroy more muscle; as it grows too close to my hip bone. I will be glad when he is gone, before too much is taken from me.  

Typing a schedule of my medications so my honey can take care of me, keep up with when I get what.  Packing my hospital bag, but not for a perfect bundle, a girl or a boy. My stay won’t be so joyous but a miracle all the same. Everything the tumor touches; muscle and tissue must go as there is a 70% chance of recurrence right there where it grows.

Its Christmas time but no visions of sugar plums dance in my head, instead images of my body, damaged from yet another surgery. What will the result from this surgery look like, I wonder.

One foot in front of the other, one step at a time, shed myself of things I cannot change.

Let them fall to the floor like unwanted clothing that keeps my soul from breathing…..