Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Another Desmoid Tumor

This is my 3rd tumor, 3rd surgery and the second time I have had a recurrences two years post-surgery, almost to the date. This is the second time I have felt great and been told I have another tumor.

All 3 of my tumors have felt different. The first one was a visible lump with stabbing pains and would cause my leg to hurt after too much activity. The second and third was an ongoing dull pain. With the second one I did have stiffness after sitting or standing for long periods. This 3rd one has been trickier. The pain is mostly always there and sometime gets worse when it is cold. I did notice these last few weeks however, my sciatic nerve has been bothering me in my lower back—which now makes since to be my tumor growing and pushing more on my nerve.

I try very hard to be healthy and active. I have battling these 20lbs since my thyroid slowed around 2 yrs ago. I walk miles with my dog, I see a personal trainer and I go to Pilate's boot camp once a week. I have also been dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for over 5+ years this plus the depression that picks up more in the winter does not make for a lot of motivation. But the good thing I got going for me is habit, once I get in a habit or routine I stick with it.  So that is the trick for me but it really isn’t paying off. I drag myself from work to work out, get home late, make dinner and go to sleep. Then I wake up and do it all over again—sitting through 8-9hrs of work feeling like I have taking a sleeping pill.  Did I mention I’m still in my 20’s? On a good note—Chronic Fatigue Syndrome doesn’t mean it’s every day—at least not for me,  so I get some good days and even sometimes a good week and those are the times I try to make the best of it!

This third tumor really has me thinking about my future and that is the hardest part, you can’t see past your hand when something like this happens. I have so many questions and no answers. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and soldier on. Hope this fog clears and I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel.


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