Friday, April 26, 2013

Turning the big--- 3. 0.

Yeah, it’s true. I am turning 30 in just a few days, hours and minutes. I’m not sure this is what I thought 30 would feel like when I was younger and I defiantly didn’t think this is what it looked like. I, like a lot of girls, grew up on fairytales and a bad childhood. I dreamed of a perfect man taking me away from it all, having a house with a picket fence and children.
Then as I aged I realize I could only depend on myself, thanks to some bad relationships with boys who were far from perfect, I rejected the thought of a man being able to take care of me, depending on him and having no worth myself. Sure, I like to cook, wear aprons and children but I don’t need a man for this. Happiness became more important to me and I walked away from what society said my future would be. I refused to accept my reality would be a man child who liked to smoke pot, drink too much, lay on his lazy ass and play music. I refused to accept my future would be in the arms of an asshole that had more issues than the ones I was leaving behind. I wanted more; I needed more and neither of them could make me happy no matter how hard I pretended. A woman’s worth is not judged by the man on her arm. I didn’t need any stinking man! So, I created my own path. A path of love, acceptance, dedication, hard work and happiness!

What does 30 feel like? I don’t feel any older, wiser or more grown up. I do feel more assure of myself, happier and actually not as stubborn. I do now know what is truly most important in life and feel confident in the decisions I make. I am ok with thinking about me, for me and doing what is best for me! Happiness is my goal in life now.

What does 30 look like? I don’t have as many wrinkles as I thought I would, and honestly the thought of them scare me a little. I am healthy—I am working towards a healthy weight, healthy eating and healthy living. It’s time to take things a little more seriously with my health.

I share my life with the one person that truly makes me happy. She was made for me and was there all along, I just had to open my eyes, my mind and my heart! She wants the same thing in life as me. (And most impressive she got off her ass to help get us there and she isn’t crazier than the people I wanted rescued from!) We are buying the house we are turning into our dream home! We will own our home in half the time—being true home owners at least by the time I am 45 and she is 49! My baby works hard for me and makes my dreams possible, for our home and our life. I am one lucky girl for sure! I think 30 is going to be a good age—I guess I am truly a grown up now. In a few more short years our lives will be changing once again—as we hope to become parents to one child, someone we have spent the last few years thinking about, preparing for and working towards.


Oh how fun, exciting and new the 30’s will be!

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