Friday, April 5, 2013

Fake Fake Fake

This world is full of fake people. People that smile to your face and talk about you behind your back. People who act –play the game in public but are totally different at heart.

Then there are the negative people or the people who judge. Often the judgers will do it with a smile on their face.

Actresses seem to be a dime a dozen. They treat you one way then once you are all together they act like nothing ever happened.

I really dislike them all—the fake, negative, judgers and actresses—all toxic people!

Unfortunately my family is full of them. They tried to turn me into one of them. I was always told to pretend nothing happened, don’t bring it up, move on and get over it. I was never ok with that.

It wasn’t until several loved ones died that I decided life is too short. It’s too short to deal with the drama these people were bringing into my life, too short for all the stress they were causing and too short to be anything but happy.

I have never regretted the choices I have made when I decided to walk away from my family. I went cold turkey—I cut them all and started fresh. Slowly few were allowed back in and some of those few didn’t get to stay. I accepted the fact that I cannot change these people; I cannot have the relationship I need from them and because of that if they caused more harm than good they were out. The only exception of this rule is my sisters. I may, at times, keep them at arm’s length I will try to always have them in my life. I will not allow them to control me, I will not recue them from the messes they have made, but I will always try to be there.

I am happier having a small but true family than a large fake one any day! Turns out you don’t have to love people just because you are related to them, you don’t have to put up with their crap just because you are family—I am here to tell you, you deserve better than that. The hardest step is acceptance—accepting the fact that the relationship will never be what you want, what you need, what you hoped for. It is what it is and that is the way it will stay—until you take a stand. Don’t let guilt keep you in a bad relationship; don’t let it keep you unhappy. Screw that—life is short and it could be all over tomorrow I am going to be as happy as I can be, regardless of what relationships I have to end or alter.

I know this much—no child of mine will be raised the way I was. No child of mine will be around these toxic people and no child of mine will have to do with the stress, sadness and heartbreak I had to when I was a child—nope no child of mine.

What I don’t like I change—my life, my weight, my unhappiness. It’s never too late to be happy!

1 comment:

  1. I see a shining future... leave the past behind us.
    p.s C.S Lewis is one of my fav writers