Opening myself up—following my path

Go with the flow a friend of mine always says. When you’re on the right path, everything will flow smoothly and things will connect.

My anxiety on the other hand always wants me to stay in my comfort zone—a tiny little box with stiff sides and no room for growth. I know I need to follow where life leads me, especially when things are all connecting and intertwining, fitting together like puzzle pieces that will make up the picture of the new me.

 The unknown, the new can be uncomfortable. I find myself doubting, questioning myself. The anxiety is a powerful thing. A room full of strangers, lots of standing and speaking, I’m struggling with the work in class; those three things combined make it hard on me to follow through, to stick it out. Do I need to try harder or just give up and walk away?

I see my personal growth like a path stretching out before me. If I give up on this class, my path stops and I am forced to turn around and go back the way I came. That’s no fun, I have already been there. Maybe another path with fork off of mine but how long before that happens? This year is my year to grow…..to find the real me and to be comfortable with her, to do this I am sure there will be some uncomfortable moments.

I will keep going to class. I will have to work harder, relax more and be easier on myself. I can do this and this is what I should be doing….one foot in front of the other and breathe…..

De-cluttering!!

It seems the spring cleaning bug bit me a little late this year but better late than never! Yesterday I made a list of all the places that collect junk around the house. We are tackling them one by one—doing smaller jobs during the week and saving the bigger ones for the weekend.

This has also extended to the Garages and basement. We would love to make a little area in the basement as an emergency shelter but we also have to have room for seasonal storage and the fireplace. Did I mention our basement is just two rooms—the first room holds the water heater and water filter the second the furnace and fireplace. It isn’t a finished basement just a small concrete canning basement.  

I love getting rid of clutter! It makes me feel more free and able to breathe easier! I get excited at the thought of organization! It’s silly I know, but I have always been a fan of everything having a place!

Monday we organized the kitchen—junk drawer, drawers, candle cabinet, above refrigerator and under the stink.

Tuesday—the cedar chest at the foot of the bed, drawers, and closet in bedroom.
Wednesday—the bathroom. Under the sink all three closets and drawers. A big job!
Thursday—class night
Friday—living room closet and coffee table drawers and pantry.

Duste’s job is to deal with the garages and basement. She is working on the garages this week and on Friday she will work on the basement.

By the end of this week we should be clutter free!! I think I hear singing…..

Changes

Changes can be a good thing, changes give us a chance to take a deep breath and give our minds and soul and new start.

I recently had my house Feng Shuied. For the most part we were correct in paint choices and placement. With only a few things to change/add I got busy right away making list. I had the few things I could do now and a few things I could do later once we moved our living room to the new space. We only need to paint one full room; mostly our homework consisted of adding art work in the right places. We added a small fish tank in the entry way and a picture of a map. I am adding a shelf in the laundry room to have some bamboo with jade and emerald rocks. I need to hang some metal art work at the top of the basement stairs and some black and white art work in the dining room. I moved some of my crystals, added some statues, more house plants and plans of de-cluttering are in the works!

 I love the way positive changes make me feel—all fresh and new, moving in a new direction, the right direction!

I also found a new favorite store! It is called Inner Path Books. They have books, crystals, physics and classes! I seen a physic and was told once again I should pursue being a healer and open myself back up. She also said I was on the right path and this year is all about coming into myself, being ok with who I am and letting go. Shedding the old me that held on to all the pain from the past and looking at the negative. I am excited to become me; I am excited to see where this takes me.

I bought a pendulum and practicing with that every night.

 I am so lucky to have a loving partner that is open to let me explore!

 Next time I talk to a physic I think I will ask about my Desmoid Tumors but I think they are gone for good! Speaking of which I hear that Rosie O’Donnell’s girlfriend has be blessed with these as well, sad to say but this will be a good thing for the rest of us with this. She will bring a face to the media; talk of this rare disease will bring more research and maybe a cure. I feel I am cured, I feel good with little to no pain and I am in the best physical shape I have been in for awhile.  I would like to put this rare disease behind me—but I am only able to forget about it for 6 months at a time then reality comes back to me in the form of a MRI scan.

My favorite quote right now is:

                                Keep Trying

                                Keep Believing
                                Be Happy
                                Don’t get discouraged
                                Things will work out!

                                                                ~Gordon B Hinckley

Living in the moment and Patience

Living in the moment

 I think that is what I am supposed to learn in this life time. I have never really lived in the moment. I have always looked to the future and treated the present like something I had to get through. I think that comes from my experiences as a child and it became a habit. My present isn’t bad, my present is great. I need to learn to live in the present. I am a planner, always planning for the future, that is another reason it is hard to live in the now.

Right now I have a loving, wonderful, caring soul mate; a supportive soul mother and two reliable in laws. Both my sisters are relatively stable and doing so independently. I have a beautiful home that we are still able to remodel into our dream home. We have Ivy Rose the crazy high energy puppy! We have a saving account and we are able to pay all our bills every month without fail. We have a new to us car that is dependable. I have a job that supplies me with good insurance which allows me to take care of myself. I am tumor free for 2yrs now and more physically active then I ever have been. The present is a great shinny place! I should stay here more often.

 Patience

I believe I am getting better at this one. I feel I am a more patient person than I was a year ago. I know with every fiber of my being that when the time is right our career life will get back on track. I believe it was derailed for some unforeseen health issues we couldn’t have planned for nor handled if we were where we thought we should be. Instead of sulking and feeling sorry for us, I instead chose to see the good in the situation and take advantage of it. Everything is going to be ok!

My goals in life are to be as happy as possible, work on being patient and living in the moment.

I think all these are reachable; after all it’s all about attitude. Which my happy pills are helping me adjust!

Ivy Rose

Ivy Rose is 4 Months old!

She weighs 21 lbs and is so smart!

She knows how to:

Sit and to only get up with command word

Stay
Come
Retrieve
Roll over and show her belly
Shake
Touch—touch her nose to your hand
Lay Down
Crawl
Step up
Speak
Kisses
Drop it
Ring bell to go out
Go to her Bed and Home when asked to and we are working on walking on a leash!

She loves to swim in the big pool! She jumps in on her own and swims a few laps by herself! She also loves to go on rides in the pool on her floaty! She loves finding treats in her Brain Game and will do anything for some turkey!

She is finally finished getting her puppy shots and next week gets enrolled to attend Doggie Daycare! She will also be getting some training there to help with the jumping and nipping.

Ivy Rose has a lot of energy and is taking fewer puppy naps throughout the day. She sleeps all night in her home and lets her mommies sleep in!

Her puppy teething are really giving her a hard time and anything can be a victim of those sharp teeth!

She is a wonderful baby and going to be an amazing dog!

Doing the Happy Dance

Good News! We are the proud owners of a new to us 2005 Ford Focus!! It is black and a 4 door! It will be getting customized to look a little more like us but we are already in love with it! Miss Ivy Rose seems happy as well, so it is a keeper! This weekend my little man Keaton will get to see his NawNaw has a new car—these can be confusing times for a 3 yr old.

 My last car,  a 1994 Grand Am 4 door,  air conditioner could not be revived no matter how hard we tried  without putting a butt load more money into it.  We had to say enough was enough. So, it has found a new spot in the front yard and will have a new owner soon.  After all, A/C is important when you are a female and these summers can bring temps in the 90’s and up. The other girls in the office would not appreciate it if I came in stinky from the drive over. Yuck!

It is true I didn’t go to the dealers looking for this type of car. I really didn’t know what I wanted. I had a few in mind, none a ford. But it looks sporty, is good on gas, has 4 doors and was in my price range—what else can a girl ask for! I am all about my cars looking cute but I am practical too!

We are impressed with the "get up and go" this little car has and its ability to "hug" the curves--important to an amateur Indy 500 driver like me! It also has a 6 disk CD Player and a awesome speaker system for all my jamming needs!

So here it is—we named him Johnny Cash!

Pre-Customized!

Ivy Rose and Talisa in the new Family Car!