Back to work Monday~

I managed to get up on time and would have been out the door on time if the rain would have been lighter. Either way I made it to work within 15mins of my normal start time—I call that a success.

My wonderful Duste made me lots of snack options—putting together yummy treats in 100calorie packs. Plus she made the grilled chicken for my blacken chicken salad I will be having for lunch! Like I have said before it takes some planning to make sure you are on track with your calories.

Sitting at work make me want candy—just like a smoker wants a cigarette with their morning coffee. 

I read a quote this morning, it said—nothing is scarier than a nation with an obesity problem and a skinny jean fad. That is so true—it’s like we all put blinders on and pretend there isn’t a problem.

We do this with our waist line, the quality of our food and so many other issues—our problem is we are blind.

We eat too much, not because we are hungry but because it is being put in front of our face.  No one bothers reading labels, that is obvious, or they would realize they do not know what is in their food let alone what a portion size is. We are a nation of excess and this is very true for our food intake.

The good news is it is never too late to change. But it can’t be a diet, a diet is something that is done only for a little while to achieve a certain weight, it has to be a life style change. You can never go back to your old normal; instead you will have to create a new normal.

I have been down this road myself before. A few years back, 5 or so, we made a life style change but one thing lead to another and before we knew it we were back in our old habits. If there is one thing I have learned is—you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect any different. Yes, I was going to personal training, Pilates and walking the dog but because I was eating twice as many calories in a day than I should nothing changed, besides me getting bigger. We can’t blame anyone but our selves—that would be like blaming the drug dealer instead of the drug addict. At some point we have to take responsibility for ourselves. It is up to us to take care of our bodies regardless what is going on around us.

Sure it is easy to do nothing and if you truly aren’t bothered by what you see in the mirror, than keep it up. However, eventually the health issues will catch up with you and you will have to do something.

Now, don’t give me that. I know what you are thinking—dieting for the rest of your life doesn’t sound like any fun. Didn’t you listen; I said this isn’t a diet but a lifestyle change.

You eat less and are more active. At first when you are trying to lose you have to eat way less than normal and do a lot more. Once you get to your comfortable weight you can level off. You won’t have to do as much but you will still need to be active and watch your portion size.  It’s all about moderation people. See, so there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

So come on people let’s take this journey together! I am excited to see how hot Duste and I are bathing suits this year—summer is less than 6 months away!!

 

 

Going back to work...

In two days I will be going back to work after my third desmoid tumor surgery. This third surgery, I feel, has been easier to heal from. I suppose it’s because we caught it early and the tumor was small. The only surprise at home was when I burnt myself with the heating pad—I have a lot of nerve loss. My blister was about 3-4inches and right beside my incision. So, for a week now I have had to deal with that—keeping it covered and clean. I went back to the chiropractor last week and it was heaven! She really helped with all the after surgery pain I was having. This week I am dealing with the after surgery insomnia. I have had it with all my surgeries and I’m not sure why. It’s like I get my days and nights confused. I am sleepy all day then as soon as the sun goes down I am wide awake! After a few days of 3-4hrs of sleep I finally broke through and can now get to sleep around 11. It isn’t good sleep but it should get better after a few weeks!

So far 2013 is looking great for us, Duste and me. I am tumor free and we are changing our lifestyle for the best! We are determined to be healthier than ever!

Before the blister!

Update

I am a week into my new lifestyle change. It hasn’t been easy, but nothing good is. I have been drinking water and on most days I am close to 6 cups. Today is the first time we are having a reward day—this means we can have one treat, this time it is a cup of soda for us both at lunch! So excited!

Anyway, as I am counting calories for us both at every meal it is really opening my eyes, especially when you look up the calories of any restaurant. Holy Cow and to think we used to get an appetizer, over 1000 cals, then a salad, 200, then our own meals, another 1000. Often times we would get a milk shake and you guessed it, another 1000cals. Even the “Lil Shooter” desserts are crazy high in calories.

Yet we wonder why American has an overweight problem….WAKE UP PEOPLE !!!
(Duste loves it when I say that!)

Restaurants were supposed to post calorie count; instead they hide them on wrappers and in brochures on the wall where no one stands. (McDonald's) Others only post some of their food choices with calories on their website—meaning you have to plan ahead on where you are going to eat and what you are going to eat, something people rarely do. Basically, most fast food is out if you want to stay on track with your calories. Some chain restaurants offer healthier choices, such as fewer than 550 calories meals at Applebee’s and Chili’s. But stay away from everything else!

You also need to watch what you make at home. We are trying to eat more fiber and whole grains. These will make you feel fuller longer, which is always a good thing! We are also trying to stay away from everything white—bread, sugar, pasta and so on. With dairy we are going low fat or no fat when possible. Can you believe in a 1/3 cup of shredded cheese there is 100+ calories!

I am happy to report we are both working out now. My Duste has started a fitness routine on Wii Active 2! I am still doing my cardio workout 4xs on Wii Fit, seeing the personal trainer 2xs and walking Ivy as often as we can, weather permitting.

Drinking water isn’t getting any easier but I am still sticking with it! Duste has always been a water drinker so this isn’t a big change for her but I could count on one hand how many times I had drank water in my life. Because of this I am going through a detox of sorts. All this water is cleaning out my system and it isn’t fun. I am embarrassed to admit I have had loose poo, gas, belly cramps and some bloating. The Internet assures me this will pass and to drink water to help it.

On a positive note, it seems Duste and I both are finally figuring out when our bodies have had enough! For example, a week ago we went to Applebee’s and ordered a 550cal meal. We split the meal and didn’t seem to be full. The next week we each got our own 550cal meal—we could each only eat half of our meal! Woohoo!

It's time to get serious about my weight

It’s true, I’m fat. Not just chunky but fat….

I’m not sure why it has taken so long for me to come to terms with it—burying my head in the sand was a lot easier! It’s not like I haven’t been trying—working out once a week with a personal trainer and going to Pilates class for two years now.  But I have got to get more serious. I need more cardio and less food! Those numbers on the scale have gotten too big and I can’t keep doing what I am and expect anything to change. So here is the new plan—

I am cutting out sugar drinks—no more sweet tea or Dr. Pepper. I am going to make myself like water if it kills me! (ha) I am going back to paying attention to portion control and splitting meals with Duste when we go out to eat, when we can. I am cutting out bread, pasta and cheese. This is going to be hard; we really like bread, cheese and pasta!

I am going to see the personal trainer 2xs a week—Tuesday and Thursday for 30mins of fun!

Wii Cardio 20min workout—Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. This is good because I can do it at home!

I will also be walking Ivy a mile on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday—weather permitting

My new doctor—who is trying to figure out why I am so exhausted all the time, has a diet plan with all natural vitamins that has proven to be successful with others. I am going to talk to him about these options on my next appointment in a few weeks.  

Goal—my goal isn’t to be what the charts say I should be, which is 120. I was happy when I was around 160-170. I want to keep my curves; I would just like to have a more defined waist and healthy!

Deadline—I am giving myself 4 months to see results. My personal trainer says all she needs is 60days, so we will see.

I am on my way…..

 

In Duste's words....

Surgery 3..the longest daze

A saga of drugs blood and pain. By Duste Eggers.

It’s all a blur looking back, and yet it all happened so fast.  We, me, my dad and talisa, rushed to Indianapolis at the butt crack of dawn; my sweet girl quiet and brave all the while  I drove. I’m confused about it really.?! I was with her as long as I could be, in a tiny room waiting, just me and her and a parade of doctors’, nurses and the rest of the monkey squad. I wanted to hold her and protect her but couldn’t.                      

The queen nurse, she was the boss monster of the nurse patrol, at the last minute made talisa remove her belly ring, and take down her hair. She wasn’t happy about it either. She lied about the OTHER piercing…. That was a mistake to haunt us, or ME later.  But she looked so pretty and all the nurses drooled over her wild Farrah  Fawcett  fro that exploded from her bun. (Hair bun not bottom)

 Before they drug her off to hell, Talisa kissed me in front of everybody.  It was great; her lips soft and warm. Then she walked away and I was alone, cold and empty. I found my emotional support (dad) snoring so loud everybody in the waiting room was giggling like a group of girls scouts  on mating day at the zoo. I made the gorilla carry talisa’s luggage. It looked like we were camping.

We had to walk 100 miles from one waiting room to the next. So we hitched a ride with a passing camel. When gorilla (dad), me and our safari outback gear got on the back of the golf cart the front two wheels lifted off the ground.  We set up basecamp in waiting room 1 and went for the worst food I’ve ever had in my life. It was like a bad prison movie. I had the gray goo and dad had the brown. We talked about bullshit and thought about Talisa.

                              Later:

Doctor Wurtz interrupted my reading and eating at basecamp while dad was making friends with the Latin Kings. I guess our basecamp was in their turf. Yes, I and the gorilla invaded their turf.  But in all honesty it had the most comfortable chairs. Wurtz said it was good news not much muscle loss but they had to put a drain in. I was relieved.  Ten minutes later a pony express rider came and whisked me away. I left dad with his new friends and was golf carted away at the speed of 3. 

  Talisa was in the same room I left her in... And so was Queen Nurse she was growling and slobbering over a ring... a piercing, talisa’s OTHER piercing. She smacked it in my hand like a hi-five and made a wise crack that permanently burned my face red.  Meanwhile… Talisa was a drug induced mess. She was whining and pawing at me and pulling me close. She made me hold her and put her hair up and scratch her and ask the staff a series of ridiculous questions. (Not in that order)

   Finally we got up to her room and the flock of vultures’ descended upon her like flies.  They made me leave; I came back in any way they screeched. “OUT” I ignored them and told talisa I was off to find dad.  Thank god for those golf cart drivers.  I got lost, but they drove me around till we found dad.

Back at the room I ordered her lunch and me and dad went to the cafeteria for more prison goo. It was a rainbow of ooze that could have been anything. Dad had the white and I had a salad.  A week later talisas food came, delivered by the scarecrow from wizard of oz.  Sorry your foods so late I was looking for my brain.

She ate like a farm hand. I was starved, she was starved I was so glad to see her smile.  She was still high as a kite but last time I saw her she was living on mars. She slept for a long time and the day crept by.  

The Gift shop was closed. The pizza shop was closed. The sandwich shop was closed and at 1pm the prison cafeteria food turned the living to the walking dead and zombies don’t cook.  I knew it was few days until talisas food arrived. (It has to travel all the way down the yellow brick road after all.)  Dad and I went scavenging for food. Thinking fast I jumped into an elevator with a woman with a pizza. She was dressed in red and black and had loud rap music filling the air around her like strong perfume.   I smiled and asked for her phone number.  She wasn’t a pizza delivery girl.  But she was quite flattered in her hard as gun steel gang banger chick kind of way. She gave me a number and I gave her an apologetic explanation.

  Dad meanwhile made friends with a kind old sage of a woman. Thanks to her we avoided the zombies by traveling by an underground tunnel from I.U med to Riley. Where we found a McDonalds! I was a hero bringing my baby a sweet tea, she was so happy. The tunnels beneath the hospitals are secret and not for anyone. Built to transport the dead they are almost 100 years old. It was a 30 minute walk both ways, I was gone over an hour. For my poor sweet baby the time passed in the blink of an eye.

 We snoozed off and on, All of us napping like lazy cats off and on in the evening hours. The new year was coming at midnight, nobody seemed to care. We watched twilight zone and talisas roommate left . I watched Talisa’s drain from time to time. A drinking straw sized tube connected to a accordion of blood. Like a red slushy the accordion never played never expanded.  I should have thought this odd….. big mistake.

  Night in the city: we looked for snow and just found smog. The dirty city never got dark and I never got comfortable sleeping in the chair. Dad had a convenient nightmare flash back. He was yelling like a madman in his sleep. I banished him to the waiting room, Where he was quite comfortable and happy.  I found him on a cushy sofa with pillows blankets his own t.v bathroom shower and Minnie kitchen. All this luxury in a waiting room all of his own.

I was glad for the morning glad to bring my battered and bruised baby home. She kindly offered to share her breakfast with me. I ordered it at 6: 18 it arrived at 8:30, cold and as late as it could possibly be and as small as you could imagine. She ate a mouse sized biscuit and I had a kids sized box of cereal. (Mmmm frosted flakes and chocolate soy milk. )

 By ten o’clock I was looking for snacks. Desperately sniffing like a scavenger on the Serengeti.  I was a hyena ,my only goal to find something good for my sweet starving princess.  Locked away in the tower room 6623 of pain drugs and soon blood. Soon as I left they assaulted her. I was angry; suddenly the muffins I found didn’t seem so important. The doctor was removing her drain so she could go home. I was happy…….

Then I saw the blood. Her face was twisted with shock and alarm. The doctor was near panic. Blood poured from her drain. Blood ran like a river, fast warm making her bed a murder scene. I was concerned the doctor was alarmed at least a big gulp worth of blood flooded out from her drain that wasn’t draining because it was kinked. It was one last test of pain before we escaped. My baby my baby, carved up like a side of beef.  Hell we escaped from Hell. It felt like a prison escape. Like I pulled her from death row a heartbeat before they pulled the switch.  My dad went to get the car and I stood in the middle of the road waiving my hat, he got lost. It was stupid and embarrassing. But at least it was over…. Or so I thought.

I HAD NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO GET HER HOME IN MY LIFE.

A week later...

It’s been a week since my third desmoid tumor removal surgery. This tumor was the smallest one yet and recovery isn’t as severer as my first two. I also stuck to my surgery plan—which was to limit my pain med intake—and because of that have very few side effects. This week I have been doing a lot of sleeping and finding a waist band that doesn’t hurt has been a challenge.  

Duste has been awesome. She has taken such good care of me and has even rubbed my feet at 4am multiple times! (I’m still having muscle and joint pain) She puts up with my whining and griping like a pro! (However, I have been mostly whiny) She cuddles me when I want, watching movie after movie with me and is doing a pretty good job keeping up with the house.

 Every day I am reminded how lucky I am—it amazes me.  We are closer than any two people I know and keep getting closer. We are so connected and I know that no matter what happens in life we will always have each other. Not too many people can really say that and mean it. We have the type of relationship I dreamed about as a child; close, connected and committed. As I lay in bed, which I am doing a lot of lately, I look around and am amazed at the life we have made together. We are buying a beautiful home, a home I would have never dreamed we could have. It truly is amazing; our relationship and our life together. She makes me so happy, every minute of every day. The best part of this recovery is I get to spend it with Duste. I can never get enough time with her, every day all day is just not enough.

 Even with a rare disease, like Desmoid Tumors, I am the luckiest girl in the world!

Out of the Hospital

Duste waiting with me--almost time!

Waking up after surgery

Yuck--a drain!

First meal!

Ivy keeping me company while I lay in bed at home!