In 1 week I have my MRI to see if there are any signs of Desmond or Dezzie the Desmoid Tumors. I would love to say it has completely escaped my mind till now but I would be lying. Because I have frequent pain in the area I wonder. I have alerted my massager and chiropractor if they ever feel anything to let me know. It is hard to know what is normal pain and what is tumor pain, especially when I very little feeling left in that area because of all the nerve damage. These scans are both a blessing and curse, depending on the outcome.
I feel great. I believe all my pain is normal for me. There is nothing like a reoccurring tumor to make you second guess yourself. I even had a dream about it—which is probably just because it is on my mind but what if it was a physic dream preparing me….oh the shadow of doubt; push away push away but it always seems to stay.
I want to believe I am past this and I will be tumor free for the rest of my life. Doesn’t everyone? But we never know what is around the corner for any of us. So, until next Tuesday I am going to try not to think about it and when I do, I will chose to see the positive. That is all I can do.