In the red and seeing red

Just what I need—a doctor to tell me how fat I am, over and over again and it has nothing to do with why I am there. The best part is when they don’t believe how much I do—personal training once a week, Pilates once a week and walking a mile 3xs a week. I am trying and have been since putting on these 20lbs.

 Instead of feeling bad all I can do is fix it.

 My plan is to cut back on the sugar in our cool aide until we can drink it sugarless. Then I will make the transition from sugar free cool aide to water. I am also going to limit the amount of pop I drink like I used to. First I will start with only one a day, then one every other day to either one a week or if needed two a week then one a week. Snacks are my next big hurdle. I really need to control the amount of snacks I eat at work. Candy really needs to be limited and back to 100cal snacks. Next is the frequency--if I could take my two snacks down to one and then hopefully none that would be great. Next up is snacking at night. There will be no more of that. To keep this from tempting me, I will no longer stock the pantry with my favorites. I have saved the hardest for last—my quantity of food. This is the hardest because you are completely miserable while your stomach shrinks but once it does it is easy!

So, that is my plan— with good intentions. We will see how far I get this time.

 I must admit the cold weather makes me crave the bad stuff and late night snacking. So this time of year is going to make it a little harder…

One step at a time….

Desmoid Tumor check

In 1 week I have my MRI to see if there are any signs of Desmond or Dezzie the Desmoid Tumors. I would love to say it has completely escaped my mind till now but I would be lying. Because I have frequent pain in the area I wonder. I have alerted my massager and chiropractor if they ever feel anything to let me know. It is hard to know what is normal pain and what is tumor pain, especially when I very little feeling left in that area because of all the nerve damage. These scans are both a blessing and curse, depending on the outcome.

I feel great. I believe all my pain is normal for me. There is nothing like a reoccurring tumor to make you second guess yourself. I even had a dream about it—which is probably just because it is on my mind but what if it was a physic dream preparing me….oh the shadow of doubt; push away push away but it always seems to stay. 

I want to believe I am past this and I will be tumor free for the rest of my life. Doesn’t everyone? But we never know what is around the corner for any of us. So, until next Tuesday I am going to try not to think about it and when I do, I will chose to see the positive. That is all I can do.

Winter decorations are up!

It took six hours on Black Friday but we got the inside and outside decorated! Yay!! As Duste says, it looks like Christmas blew up in here!

My house is truly where my heart is!

As I look around at what my house has become since the recent remodeling I can’t help but feel blessed! It has taken 4yrs, and more money than I care to remember, to get it to this point but it was worth it! My house is like a flower—a small plant when I bought it, slowly grew a bud and now it has become a beautiful flourishing flower! It has really taken shape and become more than even I could have imagined!

When we decided to buy a house we refused to become house poor and instead stayed within the budget of what we were paying for rent. No matter how much the bank begged we decided to buy below our allowed limit. I have never regretted that decision and because of that we have been able to go on vacations and make the house our own with personal changes that fit us!

Our house, as well as us, have grown so much over these past 4 years.

 This is going to be the house all family holidays happen, the house people gather—warm memories are being made here and for Keaton and all the future children this will be the only house these memories are surrounding. I like that, it makes my heart smile! I am happy to take over and be able to supply the children with a stable home that will always be; for my kids, for Keaton and for any others that may be in our family’s future. 

It’s important to me that my home is warm and inviting, lived in but nice and nicely put together. I love antiques but Duste will only allow usable antiques brought into the house, which is a good thing I must admit with babies, pets and family members. Now with the new layout of the house, I feel it is what is was suppose to be all along.

I hope we have made the past owners proud, as we tried to keep as much original pieces and keeping with the character of the house, after all that is why we fell in love with it! When buying antiques we not only keep in mind their condition and usability but also the date they were made.  I often buy pieces for rooms that aren’t done or even started—a piece here and a piece there—and when it comes time to bring them in and put it all together everything fits together like a puzzle. It’s like these pieces were meant for this house! Each piece has called to me and when this happens there is nothing Duste can do to talk me out of it and she is always happy with the results!

To say I have a connection with my house and my antiques would truly be an understatement! When I truly love something or someone I feel it on a spiritual level, in my soul…..