Crushes

Isn't it funny that as an adult I still get crushes! But this time it isn't on the guy down the street or in my class, of course this time it is on Singers and Actors! (So, there are many reasons these crushes will never be more than crushes!) This of course is purely based on looks and how I perceive them; I am sure in reality they aren't as great as they are in my head (rarely any thing is, is it?). After all, they are men and we all know men are asses by nature. Better seen and not heard if you ask me! (See, I told you many many reasons!)

At this moment my school girl crush is on--I couldn't just pick one picture of each!

Hank Williams III

Hank Williams III

Russell Brand

Russell Brand

Shooter Jennings

Shooter Jennings

To look at them you could see some similarities, (dark hair, tall and skinny.) But, like I said, this is make believe world where the only thing we are judging on is looks. In reality good looking men are rarely nice to be around, heck men in general aren't that great to be around with all their issues and whining. But these ones are sure nice to look at aren't they!

In real life I do not judge people based on looks alone, I don't even judge people based on their genitals. What is between their legs is no concern of mine; it is what is in their hearts and the soul that really count. For many years I limited myself based on sexual organs and for many years my life and relationships were terminal because of this. Sure, I could have tried harder, I could have put my happiness aside to be in a relationship that society deems normal but I mean more to myself than that. All my life was a fight and I didn't want my relationship to be yet another fight. Real love, true love shouldn't hurt, it shouldn't feel forced and it shouldn't be a fight.

My life came to a fork in the road several years ago. After several failed relationships with boys, that were nowhere near being men yet, I needed a break. I knew at the end of this break I had two choices, I could go back to him or I could be with her. I chose her and I don't regret that decision. She makes me happy, she makes me whole, she makes me, me. She gives me the life I have always wanted—secure and happy. I know he could not. I know I would never be happy being without her. Once I made this decision I was surprised by all the people that already knew we should be together. It seems I was the last to know, the last to consider this as an option. Silly me I thought I made this decision but life and the world had already made this decision for me.

So here we are several happy years later walking our path together. The path is less bumpy now and life is more stable. We live a very boring life together. No partying, no cops, no extremely late nights (other than when Keaton had colic) no bills being disconnected and no worries of food being in kitchen. We do have own a home together, have a savings account and reliable jobs. If boring is my happiness then so be it!

This is the one I love—

When I look at her I see my soul mate. I love the way she looks at me. I love the way she treats me. I love the way she respects, supports and cares for me. I love that worried look on her face when I say some guy is cute! Oh, and do I need to mention I love that she doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs and is perfectly happy not doing so?! She goes to work every day and she comes home every night, what else could I ask for! (ha!)