Fighting back that black cloud

It is so hard to stay positive when so many things aren’t going that way. Some days seem to suck the life right out of me. Too much, too much is going on. I am ready for a break from it all. I want things to get back on track and start going uphill—it seems we have been stuck down in the muck for a while. I try to remove myself from the situation, step back and look at it from afar. But inside I feel like I am in survival mode not among the living but with my head down and my feet planted firmly in the ground, bracing myself from the strong winds and rain. I wish I could just take a step but every time I try the winds start howling and try to blow me down again.

Things have got to start going our way again soon—the tide has to change—the storms will pass. Something has to give. A friend at work shared a quote with me and its now on my desk.

Accept—then act.

Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you have chosen it. Always work with it, not against it…this will miraculously transform your whole life!

I’m usually a fighter but I have been really trying not to fight with the direction the water of life is taking me. I am trying to accept it and make the best of it—I have been for several months now. But you can only doggie paddle for so long before your arms get tired. Mine feel like they are going to fall off!!

Come on sunshine, break through those clouds already. Winds push those clouds away; I need some clear sky days! I want to live and get out of this fog….

Everyone thinks getting this new puppy will help, I sure hope so but making me feel better isn’t going to solve all our problems. We need the powers that be to look kindly upon us…. Maybe this puppy is a step in the right direction a stepping stone on our new path—one can only hope.

 I’m done with all this—all this stress, sadness, hurt, complications. I ready for some happiness, gratitude, happy full hearts and smiles!

I haven’t given up. I will swim again, I just need to rest. Duste’s a great swimmer, she will save me. She always does.  Without her I would have drowned years ago…..