Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts

Monday, May 9, 2016

Finally Pregnant!!


Our fourth IUI was a success!!

It shouldn’t have been, based on the theory that if you are under too much stress it will not work. It was a very ridiculous stressful time for me, I’m talking Anxiety / Panic attacks and all. I wasn’t sleeping, was barely eating and lost 5 lbs. right before my scheduled IUI.

The stress came from dealing with my father and his issues. I walked away from my father a year ago, after I told him he could not be in my life in his current condition. Since then he became unemployed, homeless and drinking mouth wash to cope with his addiction. Most people had given up on him and instead of finding help, they called the cops on him every time he showed up. The cops would just drive him around and drop him at a 24hr restaurant, never offering any additional help. This continued for months. I would watch the paper, expecting to hear he was found dead somewhere in our town.

Then after a disgusting and disturbing email from my father’s brother, I decided to reach out to my dad. A local agency had been putting him up in a hotel room and he was busy trying to find a job – the only problem, he was still actively drinking. Unfortunately, reaching out meant he started calling (again) several times, at all hours, leaving mean message as the evening progressed when I didn’t answer. Soon enough the funding ran out and since he did not have a job, he was out on the street. My wife paid for 5 days to keep him in a room and off the streets, as it was winter, but we could not afford to do this long term. He called as he left the hotel and asked me to pick up his things behind the dumpster. It was heartbreaking to gather up his things among the heroin needles. It was devastating to see all he had were a few grocery bags of clothing left. He wondered the streets and ended up at his ex-wife’s, my mothers, sun porch. My mom called me in desperation. I made some phone calls and found out that if I could get him to the ER there was chance they could get him a bed in a rehab. It was shocking to see him after a year. He had lost so much weight and looked twice his age. He looked like a homeless man, wearing layers of mix matched clothes, his hair was a mess and he hadn’t shaved. After the cops came and talked him into going to the ER, I spent hours with him in the hospital for them to tell us they had no beds. This is when the anxiety attacks began – I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt heavy and when I did try to sleep I would wake up gasping for air. While he was safe in his hotel room, I found an agency to cover the cost for a few days, I started reaching out to all the local agencies to find him some help. I learned he HAD to go through the ER. So, after a few days back we went. This time it wasn’t as easy, he took off and was missing for several hours and when he reappeared he was very drunk but the people at the hospital handled it more seriously. While he was missing, my youngest sister went into labor. As she yelled in pain I was on the phone trying to secure funding for detox. The only problem – they couldn’t take him until the following week.  I was lucky that two wonderful ladies I used to work with were now in positions at the hospital to help me. One got him admitted for a few days for him to sober up while the other got him admitted for the weekend for observation. Keeping him in the local hospital until he could get in to detox. 

I was scheduled for my 4th IuI the day after my sister gave birth. A few days later, I just had to transport him to the detox clinic. While he spent a week there I was in daily contact with his case worker and hustled to find funding for his rehab. I had funding lined up but the caseworker felt a short term rehab wouldn’t be the best fit. So, dad was lucky enough to get a bed at a yearlong treatment facility he would pay for by working for them. The stars aligned and everything worked out!

Normally the two week wait to find out if the IUI worked is slow, but this time it was full of getting dad in treatment centers and my sister with her new baby. My father was settled in long term treatment when I got my first positive pregnancy test.

 Duste and I were both in shock – it worked!

I only told a hand full of people at first. After two ultrasounds, one at 6 weeks the other at 8, I started telling a few more family members. It wasn’t until week 14 and our third ultrasound, did I post it on Facebook for everyone to know.

Our baby is growing and my pregnancy is progressing perfectly!

So – it doesn’t matter if you are stressed, it doesn’t matter if you have anxiety issues. The only things that matter is ovulation and strong sperm! Go easy on yourself, your body knows what to do! And for those who tell you if you’re too stressed or too worried it won’t work – as nice as you can, tell them they are full of shit!

 

 

 

Friday, August 22, 2014

Chronic Illnesses

Chronic active EBV infection

After having several “Mono” infections in High School (2000 and 2002) I found the excessive fatigue still lingering years later. I was diagnosed with “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in 2004. In 2011 my thyroid was checked after a long episode of fatigue accompanied by hair loss. It took about a year to get my thyroid levels where they needed to be but the chronic fatigue would still strike intermediately, combined with joint pain in my toes, wrist and elbows. It wasn’t until I was seen by a new family physician in 2013 I heard the words Chronic EBV.  

The “Mono” bug in my body lays dormant becoming active when I’m sick, stressed or sometimes without any trigger. My symptoms include:
§  Allergies (Heightened, or previously nonexistent)
§  Anxiety (Mild to Severe)
§  “Brain Fog” (Feels as though thoughts are dulled)
§  Brain “Surges” (Similar to a headache, feels like a “shock”)
§  Burning or Tingling Extremities (Mild to Severe)
§  Cold Sweats
§  Decreased Alertness
§  Decreased Libido
§  Decreased or Low Stress Tolerance
§  Depression (sometimes cognitive, controlled)
§  Difficulty Reasoning (Mathematics, decision making, etc.)
§  Excessive Worry
§  Fatigue (Usually very severe)
§  Fever (Usually mild, fluctuates from low to high)
§  Headaches (Mild to Severe)
§  Hostility (Usually very mild, only in thought, not action)
§  Hypersomnia
§  Increased Nasal Buildup
§  Insomnia
§  Irritability
§  Mood Swings (Mild to Severe)
§  Night Sweats
§  Sensitivity to Light (Especially bright light)
§  Sinus Problems (nonexistent or unusually heightened)
§  Sore Joints (Mild to Severe, normally short duration)
§  Sore Muscles (Mild to Severe, sometimes restricting movement)
§  Sore Throat (Normally mild, may be severe, can last for days)

Now let’s compare those symptoms to Low Functioning Thyroid:
Pimples and blackheads
Cracked heels
Brittle nails
Dull hair
Hair loss
Sensitivity to cold
Bloating
Excessive weight gain
Getting tired easily
Anemia
Extreme fatigue
Muscle aches and muscle cramps
Muscle stiffness
Inability to carry out the day's tasks energetically
An overall sense of weakness
Feel exhausted very soon
Feel like taking frequent naps
Feel exhausted even after sleeping for long hours.
Lack of sex drive
Insomnia
Concentration problems
Mood swings
Irritability
easily depressed
Memory loss/foggy memory
Anxiety

I was also diagnosed with Anxiety/ Depression.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder Symptoms:
·         Constant worrying or obsession about small or large concerns
·         Restlessness and feeling keyed up or on edge
·         Fatigue
·         Difficulty concentrating or your mind "going blank"
·         Irritability
·         Muscle tension or muscle aches
·         Trouble sleeping
·         Sweating, nausea or diarrhea
Depression Symptoms:
·         Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
·         Fatigue and decreased energy
·         Feelings of pessimism
·         Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
·         Irritability, restlessness
·         Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
·         Overeating
·         Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
·         Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings

Highlighted are the common symptoms between them all. Lovely isn’t it. I never really know where my symptoms are coming from when I have a flare up. I typically start with the thyroid check (if it last long enough and isn’t accompanied by joint pain) with joint pain is typically my CEBV and that typically signals I am getting sick. When I have no desire to or find it hard to get back in the habit of exercising it is typically my depression—which can also be triggered by my lack of energy caused by one of the other ailments. Typically my depression alone is evident by my attitude changes, mostly work triggers this. It is a crazy mess.

Treatments:
I am on Synthroid for my Thyroid and a medication for my Anxiety/Depression.  I take supplements for my weaken immune system and energy levels. I plan on researching and pursuing more support for my Weaken Immune System—which is what I think started this ball of symptoms rolling.

I also exercise in 30-45 minute intervals as this is the optimal length of time it takes for the brain to release Dopamine and Serotonin every day.
To see it all listed here is a little overwhelming to me. I knew a lot of conditions had similar symptoms but never this many.

If you, or someone you know, is suffering for one or all of these please seek professional help first. After you get the symptoms under control then you can start pursuing more natural remedies. I realize that may sound silly to a lot of people but when you are experiencing these symptoms; often it has already been for a long period of time, what you need more than anything at that moment is to “stop” the symptoms to be able to think more clearly.

Undiagnosed Condition:
I am thinking I also have a Hormonal Imbalance. Several things lead me to this conclusion but the main one is the Acne Breakouts I have during my period.

Hormonal Imbalance in Women

Allergy
Acne
Anxiety
Bloating

Depression
Dizziness
Fatigue
Growth of facial hair
Headaches
Hair loss
Irritability
Mood swings
Night sweats

PMS
Reduced sex drive
Urinary tract infections
Weight gain/weight loss
Yeast infection

This truly is ridiculous how many common symptoms there are.